On January 29th I was invited by the Burlington County New Jersey Association of School Psychologists to present the Matrix to a group of psychologists, social workers and support staff. We spent the afternoon practicing presenting the Matrix and learning how to sort experiences. Each participant had a small whiteboard to work from as we took turns asking and answering the four questions. A good ( and flexible) time was had by all ! Also nice to know a few folks have been using the matrix in working with students. The Matrix  “virus” is spreading!

Thanks to Mike Scapellato and John Lestino for setting up the training. Also, kudos to Dan “the intern” and Dr. Joanne Bergen for volunteering to role play their very first Matrix session in front of the group.

In pursuing anything worthwhile, failure is in your future, if not your present. Our minds treat this word like a nasty virus that we need to shake off. We “don’t like” how failure feels when it shows up. Words get attached like “loser”, “I can’t”, “it’s too hard” and we can get bogged down.

The flip side of “failure” is “success”. Let’s just call success getting what you want or expect to get. Everyone who wants success raise your hand! We can refer to failure as not getting what you want or getting what you don’t want. My experience tells me there are fewer hands in the air for this. We can get really stuck on the success/failure trip and miss out on doing what actually works to keep us moving in important directions.

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The second free live webinar will be held Wednesday, December 9 from 6-7 PM, EST.

After you set the Matrix context up and ask a few respectful questions, you are ready for “sorting”.

Folks young and old love to sort things. In this webinar we will be sorting stories and experiences onto the Matrix. Sorting leads to increasing psychological flexibility and behaviors/actions that help everyone move toward success.

Use the link to join up!

http://events.constantcontact.com/register/event?llr=pqrbczpab&oeidk=a07ebwrnskffe752de4

In one of our middle school classes we have established what I call the Daily Matrix Ritual. Teachers, students and support staff meet each morning and begin the day by drawing the Matrix, followed by asking and answering the “four questions”. Each person takes turns noticing who and what is important, identifying what is showing up on the inside (usually a mix of tired, pleased, anxious, satisfied and bored ) as well as toward/away moves we make as we begin our day. We list what we plan to do and also what actual or potential obstacles may show up and get in our way (since the day has just started the obstacles are usually the unwanted thoughts/feelings that we may be experiencing on the inside). It is also a time to celebrate successes and support continuing to work toward each member’s goals.

Everyone, staff and students alike, looks forward to what we call our “check in”. We have created what is known as a ritual. Research and experience tells us that rituals involve activities that foster connection within a shared space. The Matrix ritual offers an empowering way to prevent and recover from problems while fostering sharing and creativity. What we are noticing is that this simple Matrix activity of asking respectful questions results in:

> Students connecting to what they value
> Students connecting to each other
> Students connecting to teachers ( and teaches to students )
> The group connecting to a shared purpose

It’s not about getting anywhere and yet everyone participates in the “respectful space” we create each day. We simply notice all of this and go on with our day, the class generally carrying the group cooperation with them as they move through academic tasks and activities. As we see each other throughout the day we may or may not refer back to the check in and get curious about how things are going. At the end of the day we have another quick Matrix meeting to notice how things have turned out.

If you have a group or class that meets regularly you may want to give the check in a try. You never know what’s going to show up!