In pursuing anything worthwhile, failure is in your future, if not your present. Our minds treat this word like a nasty virus that we need to shake off. We “don’t like” how failure feels when it shows up. Words get attached like “loser”, “I can’t”, “it’s too hard” and we can get bogged down.

The flip side of “failure” is “success”. Let’s just call success getting what you want or expect to get. Everyone who wants success raise your hand! We can refer to failure as not getting what you want or getting what you don’t want. My experience tells me there are fewer hands in the air for this. We can get really stuck on the success/failure trip and miss out on doing what actually works to keep us moving in important directions.

This kind of situation is played out all too often when it comes to education and learning. Most academic institutions place a premium on “success” and “failure” gets a bad rap. We learn that mistakes are “bad” and to be avoided or at least minimized. As we learn to use and apply the Matrix with learners, success and failure take a back seat to noticing what works. We do this by supporting learning to come up with their own possibilities and figure out for themselves (like our bike riding friend) what they want to do next.

Matrix users embrace mistakes. Since we can’t stop them from showing up we have a choice to either wrestle with them or begin to see them for what they are- the consequence of an action. When we see someone make a mistake we say, “Great, you just tried that out! What are you noticing now? Does it feel like doing that is getting you were you want to go?”. We go for psychological flexibility and get out of the way. The next move is up to them as they gain some perspective on what is going on in and around them.

What we are up to is using a few simple words to point to experience. The experience of the learner engaged in a particular action. This means letting go of sticky words like success, failure, right and wrong, and going with what we have acquired through millions of years of evolution. Trial and error is the basic learning model for everything with a pulse. Language is handy but not required.

Evolution is about variation, selection of behaviors/consequences over time, and passing acquired knowledge on.  When anyone young or old uses the matrix they are using psychological flexibility to vary or come up with new behaviors (this happens as they sort experiences onto the board which leads to noticing and choosing behaviors), select behaviors that work (either toward or away) and “let go” of less workable ones while gaining knowledge through experience (since it is empowering to choose workable behaviors).  Remembered experiences can then be practiced or shared with your favorite social group (as in we can all notice together what is working or not working for us as a class, family, etc.).

For a fascinating read, curriculum designer Dustin Eidrosh eloquently speaks to the Big History of Psychological Flexibility here.

May you notice yourself and your learners making lots of mistakes!