When you hear phrases like “We will be having a meeting,” or “You are invited to a meeting” what shows up on the inside of you?  How about when you walk into a room like this one for the purposes of getting together to discuss something?

You may begin to experience internally some form of anticipation, mixed with discomfort. Tension is likely to show up in your body, along with words like “difficult” or phrases like, “I’d rather not”, “here we go again”, etc.  Our minds have a lot of different associations to the word and experience of “meeting” and we know meetings will continue to happen and be a part of what we do.

Whether we are educators, parents/guardians, or groups/organizations we need to get together from time to time. We can approach meetings with feelings of dread, or we can adopt a psychologically flexible point of view and work toward cooperation and collaboration so that all “stakeholders” can make valuable contributions.

The Matrix works great for promoting cooperative gatherings at all levels and sets groups up for more successful experiences. A little matrix perspective injected into a meeting helps to loosen participants up for creative problem solving.

Here is one way to play it:

The Matrix can be visible (like up on a whiteboard or drawn on paper) or it can be running in your mind if you have been using it for some time.

For any meeting to be productive the group members need to know what they are meeting for and where they want to go. What is the purpose of this group? What are we hoping to accomplish? Everyone has different ideas and perspectives so stating your purposes up front brings clarity. While our minds may disagree we share five senses and prosocial values so we can come to a consensus about our objectives. Can we get on the same page?

If we are looking to lend assistance or support to someone we need to know who or what is important to that person as well as what his/her strengths are. If the task is something more abstract, like a project,  it will still come down to people, available resources and how to pull it all together. Most meetings in schools ( and elsewhere ) go off the rails due to not being clear about the shared purposes. All of this is what shows up in the lower right portion of the matrix diagram which I call Important Stuff.

When we have accomplished this we can empower everyone in the group to notice and monitor if the actions of the group are focused on shared purposes or if we are heading in unproductive directions. All members should be acknowledged for their contributions and participation while always returning to the task at hand.

Once the group has mapped out where it’s heading, it will probably encounter and discuss barriers and obstacles. These are the things that usually show up inside people that are unwanted and get in the way of the shared purpose. Here the group notices things like frustration, confusion, conflict, urges to avoid, etc. This is the stuff that goes in the lower left area of the matrix as Unwanted Stuff. Chances are this stuff will keep showing up since experience tells us unwanted stuff is part of living.

Rather than mess with this we can simply acknowledge it and choose to move on.

The group will probably be noticing away moves as well. These are actions that people do to move away from uncomfortable inside stuff. The biggies are complain, avoid, not work, argue, distract, etc. This is the stuff that goes in the upper left under Away Moves. The group can also be noticing the away moves of those they seek to help.

As the group continues to move toward the shared purposes  there will be discussion about actions  that will help move toward who and  what is important. Here the group discusses what they want individuals to do ( group members or whomever is being discussed) in clear, observable terms. Included in this discussion are the actions the group plans to use to support and reinforce the shared purposes  or the individual in question. All of this Important Actions stuff  ends up in the upper right.

If the group is not moving toward who or what is important, something is getting in the way.  The group can notice this,  monitor their actions, and hopefully return to moving toward who and what is important.

Since this is just a meeting the important actions are yet to be tried out. The purpose of any meeting is to get some action going once the meeting ends. The group can also build in how they will monitor the planned actions and if or when they need to get together again.

If you have a matrix diagram filled out everyone can take a copy or a picture. Sprinkle with lots of reinforcement for participating and sharing and you have the recipe for a creative and productive meeting!