This furry little critter is a first class problem solver. He has the whole “I am hungry and need to do something to eat” thing figured out”

I think we big brained types can learn something from him.

We spend a lot of time in education giving kids problems to solve like math problems, multiple choice tests, and fill in the blanks and we spend a lot less time on everyday living kinds of problems; you know, the kinds of problems that don’t have neat answers, where there is usually more then one way to go, and you don’t really know how things will turn out.

So I just gave a webinar on how to use the Prosocial Matrix to get creative problem solving going with little and big people.

You can watch it below:

So I got together recently with a few fellow professional educators and longtime matrix users. We hadn’t seen each other in awhile so we were catching up. While we work in different areas of education, we all share the psychological flexibility point of view.

Using the matrix will do that to you.

Working from this point of view, we come from the stance of accepting what learners do in-the-moment and then helping them make decisions and choices.

We work with learners who get stuck.

A lot.

In their heads.

And then in their behaviors.

We invite them to notice, to be aware.

They notice what they are doing and where their actions take them.

Then they choose what they do next.

They notice they can choose different actions and get different results.

They learn to make smart choices. We set the context and they do the learning.

Making smart choices in school and life feels good.

It takes practice to make smart choices so the earlier they get started, the sooner they learn the real skills of living and learning, of adaptability, of persistence, creative problem solving and getting along with others.

In my latest webinar, I take a look at how this plays out later on in the world of work. Check it out.

Go To The Webinar

This week I got together with a great group of teachers from the Mercer County Education Association to present a professional development workshop. Over 30 participants showed up from different school districts looking to add some mindfulness to their classrooms. Over the two hours we spent together, we practiced our “noticing” skills individually, in pairs and as a group. Everyone had a great time and left looking forward to using the Prosocial Matrix to promote happier and healthier classrooms and relationships.

Mindfulness is simply being aware of the present moment. When we are noticing something, we are bringing attention to an experience for a reason or purpose. Noticing is something anyone can do. The more we notice what is going on around us and what thoughts, feelings and urges are showing up inside of us, the better we are at learning, making choices, and getting where we want to go!

The prosocial matrix is a simple visual and verbal too that you can use to be mindful and to have happy and healthy classrooms and schools. It also works great if you are not such a big mindfulness fan since you don’t need to know a thing about mindfulness to notice. Noticing is a natural process that we humans possess and there is no right or wrong way to “notice”.

The prosocial matrix is based on science and a process developed by Dr. Kevin Polk and his study and work in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Training. Through my training and collaboration with him I am bringing the Prosocial Matrix to educators, organizations and families. They are using it to make a difference for living and learning. Teachers and students learn to use noticing or being aware in the present moment to be in touch with what works to move toward satisfaction and success.

Once everyone has experienced the matrix point of view and how it works, we use the prosocial matrix to ramp up mindfulness for the entire class.

Noticing is Mindfulness Made Easy and Leads to Happy and Healthy Classrooms

Noticing is an engaging process and a move toward connecting with self and others. The process of noticing sets teachers and learners up for success with less struggle and stress. With the mindful matrix approach we start out helping each person get in touch with who is important to them. They then notice what kinds of unwanted thoughts and feelings can show up and get in the way of moving toward their important people and things. Once this happens they learn to notice what actions they do to get away from the yucky stuff that shows up inside of them. They  also notice the things they want to do to move toward who is important to them.

What really ramps up mindfulness is the visual diagram the teachers have completed in the picture above. This can be done individually or as a group and it is a lot of fun. Everyone is invited to participate by answering a few respectful questions and writing down their responses. Students and teachers do this together and it makes for powerful learning. The end result is a process where teachers and students use the matrix to share collaboratively, help each other stay on track, and achieve their goals.

All of this noticing will lead to choosing actions to try out and then notice how well they work (or don’t work). Noticing goes hand in hand with psychological flexibility which is simply being able to make moves that work, even when the yucky stuff is getting in the way.

Students and teachers in school are important to each other. So are their families and friends. Once we got some noticing and flexibility going with our workshop folks, we were ready to experience the group matrix. With the group matrix we establish psychological safety, the feeling that people have my back and I have a voice and a part to play. When students and teachers take part in psychologically flexible and safe classrooms, they pull together and accomplish great things. This is known as two loops around the matrix, which is done mindfully and with collaboration and shared purpose in mind. By the end of the evening the group was ready to go back to their classrooms and give it a whirl. I have already heard from a few who have begun using it.

Once a class or group has experienced the prosocial matrix point of view and how it works, they can go on continuing to help each other and become empowered, high performing teams. The rest is up to them.

Last week I was sitting with my daughter. She felt like she was in a rut. She was wanting to do something different but instead finding herself doing the same things over and over. As we talked about her predicament, the movie “Groundhog Day” showed up in my head.

Groundhog Day is a wonderful fantasy-comedy. It place in the town of Punxsutawney, home to Phil, a legendary rodent who is ceremoniously removed from his burrow February 2nd  each year and called on to “forecast” either a long winter or early spring. Phil Connors, the protagonist (the outrageous and gifted Bill Murray) is a jaded and self-absorbed weatherman who is assigned to cover the event however much he despises the whole ordeal. When he wakes up the next day and discovers that he will be reliving Groundhog Day again and again and again. He is caught in an endless time loop. He tries to escape by doing everything from drinking and reckless driving to suicide to no avail. More on the ending in a bit.

Groundhog Day is a metaphor for lots of things. In the land of the matrix we can look at it as metaphor for what we do when we spend our time trying to avoid and escape unwanted thoughts and feelings we can’t control. We don’t want the frustration or pain that we experience and we have an urge to immediately seek relief. Seeking relief is natural and very useful. We take an aspirin to relieve a headache. We complain to others to lessen our feelings of frustration. We put off doing something because we “don’t feel like doing it”.  The fun begins when seeking relief takes center stage and you find yourself doing less of what you want and more of what you don’t want. We can get into a loop like Phil where we spend our time avoiding and escaping and then each day feels more like the ones before that.

Everyone experiences their own version of Groundhog Day from time to time. A great place to witness this effect is in schools. Schools are built on routine and the time spent there can be spent moving toward learning and teaching and it can also be spent moving away from the inevitable frustrations of growing and changing. Some combination of both are needed in the long run. When I see students engaging in away loops ( pulling out cellphones in class, asking to go to the nurse, coming in late, complaints of boredom, procrastinating, etc. ), I know they are looking for relief by doing the same thing over and over and expecting something different. If we as educators also go looking for relief we can end up joining them with our own complaints, frustrations, threats and even passive resignation.

So how do you get out of the loop?  We can go back to Phil Connors and look at what he discovered.

The first thing Phil began to differently was to notice from his own experience that what he was doing wasn’t working. He was still stuck.

The next thing he noticed was that someone was important to him, namely his TV producer, Rita. He then had to figure out how to move toward relationship. His first attempts were done to move him out his own misery which just increased it. Slowly, he learned how to make moves because they felt good and they brought him closer to people. It became less about him and more about others. He came up with new moves that brought him closer to the satisfaction of connecting. The misery was still there but became less important and just something he could take with him on the way to who was important to him.

Phil’s willingness to do something different while still having his misery is what took him out of the loop.

So we can notice when we are in our own loops of frustration or fear and burrowing more and more into them. That is okay. It is just what humans do. We can also notice who and what is important to us. Doing that gives us a choice. We can keep looping or try something new. Then we can look and see if  works to keep us moving toward our important people and things.